Everybody has their own idea of love. And only when you come to the state where all ideas about love have disappeared, where love is no longer an idea but simply your being, then only will you know its freedom. Watch your cunning mind, watch your power politics. And nothing else except continuous watching and observing is going to help.
When you say something to your man or your woman, look at it: what is the unconscious motive? Why are you saying it? Is there some motive? Then what is it?
Be conscious of that motive, bring it to consciousness – because this is one of the secret keys for transforming you relationship: anything that becomes conscious disappears.
It’s not surprising to me that most of the women are more invested in their relationships than men. Their happiness and well-being is more dependent upon how things are going in their intimate relationships.
After all, it’s the woman, who’s usually the one who recognizes that things aren’t working(the way she wants)? But why is it this way?
Women are born as the nurturers. They are the ones with the skills to anticipate the needs of their beloved. Nurturing the relationships, ‘trying’ to solve the problems when things have gone the other way.
Whereas, Men are born as the providers and protectors. It’s not that men do not care about the relationship, it’s just that they have their own ways of showing the love and affection – by working hard, establishing a career and maintaining an emotional balance.
Every woman, thinks, ‘How can I improve (change) him?” How should I get him more involved (trapped) into this relationship?
It’s easy – (Stop) don’t even try.
The simple fact is that men and women are different.
It’s not that people can’t change; they can. It’s that they won’t do it just because you want them to change!
They tend to have (see) different (things) benefits in a relationship but they are both interested in intimacy.
Women tend to focus (mostly) on their need for a real connection. This manifests in creating homes and nurturing their intimate relationships. That’s not to say women don’t have careers. They do but most prioritize these connecting activities more.
Young men focus on their need for significance. They are interested in creating their path in the world and making an impact and leaving behind a legacy. This is not to say that men don’t have relationships. they do, but their priorities are typically (old fashioned) focused on work.
As they both age, the dynamics shift – women tend to believe that they have invested all they had and sacrificed everything for their family. They want to go back to school or develop their own businesses.
Whereas, men feel that they are tired of the rat race and feel ready for a connection.
They both evolve; and flip roles.
But imagine if both focus on connecting to each other at the same time, it would be beautiful, blissful but then nothing would get done. (Love gets you nowhere) If both focus on significance, then they may be freedom and success, but little in terms of intimacy.
Embrace the differences (ASAP) and appreciate what you both bring together (and tell each other how much the other means to you). When we allow ourselves to embrace the other person and celebrate them, enjoy their madness, cherish their creativity, laugh with them, fall for them every time, it creates memories for times to come, it helps and increases the intimacy in your relationships.
People hanker for love, but at the same time they cling to their ego. Hence, love never becomes a reality. They come and go without tasting the nectar of love.
And unless you experience love, you have not experienced life at all. Life is nothing but an opportunity for love to blossom.
If you are alive, the opportunity is there – even to the last breath.